The A. B. C.s For Healthy Relationships

healthy relationshipsHaving a way to remember a few key elements for success in any situation is important. For me one of the ways I have remembered the top 3 key elements for keeping my relationships healthy is A.B.C. Especially in a moment of conflict, this simple formula gives me a quick litmus test to help me navigate through it.

1. The A stands for Attitude.

This is referring to my attitude, not theirs, or as you read this blog, your attitude not theirs. Relationships are built on the same principle that God created everything in the universe to work on: sowing and reaping. When others are giving you an attitude, check your own. More often than not, they are reflecting back to you what you are giving off. If they are the ones who are starting the attitude problems, you have the potential of changing their attitude by sowing a great attitude into them.

I am often amazed at how many times I think someone else has a bad attitude but when I stop and reflect on the A.B.C.s for healthy relationships, I discover I ‘m the one who needs an attitude adjustment. When I do so, the relationship quickly turns for the better.

2. The B is Belief.

What is my belief in them? You see I believe in what I write about and wrote extensively about in my book Life Palette: God made a masterpiece…and it’s you. It’s important to continually look at others with the belief of that truth. When you begin to drift from that belief you will begin to see the worst in others rather than the best. You must believe that they have potential in order to see that potential. Everyone wants to be in relationships with those who believe in them.

3. C is Communication.

The truth is, successful healthy relationships are so easy; healthy communication. However, healthy communication is one of the most difficult things in the world. Why? Because every human being interprets everything that is said and done through the filters of their experiences, and theirs is different than yours. Clear communication takes work and energy. When struggling in a relationship, never assume that you have communicated everything with absolute clarity. Never assume that others have understood the things you are working to communicate with them with clarity. Always re-communicate. Always be willing to communicate more, with more clarity, with more understanding and openness. Be willing to get and give in this area. Assume that misunderstanding is the norm and you will need to work through it.

Which of the A.B.C.s do you need to focus on right now and in what relationship? Put them to the test today, you will be amazed at how much they will improve your relationships at home, work or in your community.

“So encourage each other and build each other up…”  (1 Thess 5:11 NLT)


Which of the A.B.C.s do you think is the most difficult and why? If you have questions or comments please post them below, I would love to hear from you and your response will help others.